All About Me (and those I love): try deconstructing this liguistic masterpiece

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

try deconstructing this liguistic masterpiece

Tonight, Mayes asked Jarron to bring our desk chair into the living room and sit on it while he talked to to him from his position on the couch. This is their conversation:

MAYES: Dad, sit on this chair and talk to me.
JARRON: Ok Mayes. What?
MAYES: Somebody stole your personal prayers.
JARRON: What does that mean?
MAYES: It means that you're gonna get spanked.
JARRON: Who's gonna spank me?
MAYES: [pause] A robot.
JARRON: Where's the robot?
MAYES: In jail.
JARRON: Why?
MAYES: Cuz he killed the bad people.
JARRON: Ok. What else?
MAYES: And they stole ears. And lunches. [Walking over to Jarron] Now lift up. [Removes the chair]
JARRON: [pause] Do you wanna play catch?
MAYES: Yeah.

6 comments:

UnknownMarch 10, 2010 at 9:14 PM
aaaahahahaha.... "it means that you're gonna get spanked." haha! I love that line!
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Jenni ElyseMarch 11, 2010 at 8:29 AM
Little kid's logic is so interesting to me. They think what they're saying is perfectly logical when in fact it isn't. So funny.
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AshleyMarch 11, 2010 at 12:16 PM
Personal Prayers... that's funny.
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natalieMarch 12, 2010 at 8:37 AM
many of the reasons i love mayes; he is a little bit crazy.
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MarnieMarch 12, 2010 at 12:36 PM
That makes me laugh so hard! He's hilarious!
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emblairMarch 15, 2010 at 3:44 PM
Always nice to see a kid with a great imagination! Awesome.
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little boyisms

Mayes (in response to Cameron teasing him about a girl in his class): "Cameron, if I was in love with girls I would tell you."
Cameron: "Mayes, when I am 16 and you are still 14, I will be able to drive and will take us to Toys R Us WHENEVER WE WANT!"
I was cooking one night and banged a spoon against the bowl. Cameron asked Jarron if someone was knocking on the door. When Jarron said "No", Cameron said, "Oh, it must be that cooking thing in the kitchen." Cooking thing indeed! Then for two nights he prayed for the "cooking thing" (hahaha) and laughed while he did it.
Cameron told me I was a good cook but some cooks are better than me. Jarron asked, "Like who, Cameron?" (He was surely waiting to hear a list of people who can cook better than I can.) Cameron thought for a second and then said, "Like...Ratatouille." (Meaning the rat in the movie.)
Mayes: Mom, get up. It's morning time. The sun is awake and the pets [at the petstore] are awake.
Cameron's uninhibited, sweet testimony experiences in our Selah Ward Primary: 1) I love my brother so much that one time I let him play my guy on Nintendo and he died and I didn't even get mad! 2) My eternal family...I love them. My God...I love him.
I told Cameron about a bully that threw sand in my face when I was little. Cameron felt bad for me and said, "Oh, I'm so sorry mom!" What did Mayes say? "I punch him in the face for you, Mom!" That, in a nutshell, is the difference between my two little boys.
Cameron told me that he was going to wish on the Wishing Star that my chores would be done [auto]matically. I told Jarron and his response was, "He is such a sweet kid. I don't think I would have ever thought about that for my mom." Sweet indeed.
Cameron: "I see that a lot of people died because there's a lot of grass." Mom: ??? Cameron: "When people die they become the grass. I learned that on Lion King." Thank you, Disney.
Cameron told me that he could tell I was full because my belly was a little fat.
Mayes threw a couple of "Little Einstein" characters in Gran's toilet. When I asked him why, he said, "Go on mission in toilet."
Cameron: "Mom, you know why Mayes always does what I do? It's because he thinks I'm cool. AND I AM!"
Cameron: "Starlight, starbright, first star I see tonight; I wish I may, I wish I might Have this wish I wish tonight." Mom: "What's your wish?" Cameron: "For the fairy to bring me my sister." Mayes: "This sucks."
Cameron: "Mom, you look so pretty when you are happy. But you don't look pretty when you are mad. You don't."
Cameron: "I can't wait for my sisters to come!" WHOA. WHAAA???
"Did you catch any bad guys today?" --what Cameron asked the police officers today at Subway. The answer? Two already today. Very impressive. The news excited Cameron very much.
Rory caught Cameron deep in thought and asked him what was up. Cameron replied, "Sshhh. Jesus is telling me something." Whoa. Possibly true.
I took a break from packing and watched a few minutes of TV with Cameron. When I tried to talk to him, he cut me off and told me to go do my work. So much for trying to relax together.
After hearing Cameron pass gas, Mayes asked, "A cow in here?" (What's up with Mayes and cows lately?)
Mayes is constantly on the lookout for the elusive cow that he believes lives in Gran's shed (which apparently has the distinct look of a small barn).
Jarron: Come here, Cameron. You have something in your eye. Cameron (worried): IS IT A BEETLE??
Cameron saw me putting on make-up the other day and asked me if I was trying to be a Lamanite.
"I NOT BABY! I NOT BABY!" --Mayes upon seeing a highchair set out for him at Grandma's house.
Mom: Mayes, stay out of the trash! Uckies! Mayes: Mmmmmm. Mmmmm.
Mom: Cameron, let me comb your hair. Cameron: But I don't want my hair flat and nice. It isn't Sunday! Mom: But you have some crazy hairs. Cameron: Just get over it, Mom.